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On Returning
This next number goes out to all you cats who've lost your way...
It's been ten long years since there was any effort to put out words regarding the things I've been feeding my head with. In the interim, the internet's grown, and the zine culture has become memory, as has the days of *Prodigy, for those of us old enough to remember.
I didn't get married, that's not legal to my kind of people. Ill-chosen mistakes regarding my coming out process, sent me out of the California Central Valley, to a brief stint in Santa Rosa and eventually to a decade of Floridian wanderings. I did get married. Sorta. In the sense that I believed it to be what passed for conventional marriage. Shared monies, raising a dog together, real estate, mundanity. Still, it all felt like fraud, cause for the first seven years in Florida, this relation quelled a lot of my interests and curiosities. One just knows they're not meant to be. Warning signs shoulda been the guy's record collection. We're talking mixtapes of Whitney Houston, Hootie, Joan Osborne (if she is spelled wrong, oh well, she's made enough royalties not to care about some blogger's goof-up). Guy never did get my music. Mainly, it was fodder for parodies that gave Weird Al sophistication. Three years on, one boyfriend less, 60 lbs lighter, and we're back in CA...more on that as the blog unfurls, over time...been missing a time when words flowed out about this sort of thing...this endless search for the joy of good pop sounds.
for now, i won't go into any lenghty musings. just starting the show, just looking out into the audience and seeing if i've still got the nerve (the fanzine years are quite a long time ago). so i'll just throw a couple of songs to share. songs that have been on my mind lately.
first, there's Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins. one of the best albums of 2006, by far. this particular track has a line that hits at the core of a lot of my dealings with reality. "I'm in love with illusion", which much like Blondie's "lost inside adorable illusion" are telling of the rich fantasy life that goes on inside me. This is why sometimes I can meander through crowds and not notice people I actually know. Cause I'm usually busy in some form of scenario that's not taking place in the immediate world. Anyway...here's that track...
I'll probably have some of my dreams show up on here, from time to time. Last night, I dreamnt that NJ from Tiny Monroe met me at a party. We told each other the band's discography, by order of release and drank some red wine. For some reason, NJ looked like what the Cansei De Ser Sexy girls would look like if they were 30 years older. And she had makeup and sparkles on her face done up in a manner that was dramatic and reminiscent of the cover of "Aladdin Sane". The party ended, and it turned out that I lived at the party site. I went out to discard the plastic champagne flutes, and found her outside, weeping with a gun in her hand. Honestly, don't recall the conversation...it's been a few hours since I woke up. She gave up the piece, and I wrapped it in hay and mailed it off. Anyway, it's odd that she showed up in the dream, but I guess this means I should share a song from them, so that the world can remember them for another second. "Cream Bun" was their brilliant second single (1994). The New Order basslines and NJ's delivery shoulda made popstars out of them...
lastly, here's some Voxtrot, to provide something a little more fast paced. and also cause it's currently my favorite song...
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